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Count it all Joy

August 7th, 2007

My sister and I and our respective offspring went to the hospital today to see my Dad (and my Mom!), as he is recovering from prostate-removal surgery.   All went well, and he looks the healthiest of all of us!!   (Maybe they should start passing those “happy pills” around in the waiting room!)   Thanks to all who have sent well-wishes and prayers.

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I just realized that this is the first picture that we’ve gotten my whole immediate family in since Christmas… we should get the camera out more often…

Change of Plans

August 6th, 2007

After arriving at the hospital this morning at 6 am, and sitting in the pre-op area for nearly two hours, we were told by a nurse that there was a “Change of plans” and that Casey’s surgeon would not be in today.

After having been up since 4, we wearily shuffled back to the car and headed home… there were a few people there that were happy to see us…

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And a few more that thought that they were going to have a little longer to lounge on the furniture…

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Casey has been rescheduled for Wednesday morning.   Divine intervention?   Just a case of slipping through the paperwork-chasm  of a major hospital?   At any rate, it is what it is.   Now my biggest stress of the day is deciding if I should do housework or take a nap…

And a HUGE thanks to Aunt Kim for taking care of Kenny, and agreeing to do it all again on Wednesday morning… Her hubby, by the way, is headed back from his six month deployment in Afghanistan… check out her blog for more details!!

Getting Through Tomorrow

August 5th, 2007

Casey and I will leave at 5 am tomorrow morning to go to the hospital where he will check in to have his heart surgery.   I think I am more nervous than he is.   My sister is staying here tonight with her kids to be with Kenny tomorrow morning, and until I am able to return home.   As we were putting Kenny to bed tonight, we explained that we wouldn’t be here in the morning, because Mommy was taking Daddy to the doctor for the day, and wouldn’t be home until sometime in the afternoon.   He was quiet, and then kept asking for song after song as we were putting him to bed.   Each time I finished one, he piped in, “another one.”   I know that he was feeling a little anxious about waking up without us there.   That’s only happened twice before, and both times because Casey and I had an overnight “date night.”  

He knows that this is different.   And he knows, all too well, what a “doctor” is, and that Mommy and Daddy and Kenny have had their fair share of all-day and all-night trips to the hospital.   It breaks my heart that he knows what it means.   A one-year-old shouldn’t know all that.   Thank goodness he loves his Aunt Kim and his sweet cousins.   I know that he will be fine tomorrow, but my heart is so torn right now.   I want to be, and need to be, right there with my husband as he goes through his surgery, and then with him in the recovery room.   And yet my heart also aches to be with my little boy and comfort him that Daddy is going to be just fine.   Part of me didn’t want to tell him what was going on, but he is such a perceptive little boy, I couldn’t hide it in the end.

I also ache over the fact that my father will be having surgery at a hospital 45 miles away, and my mom there with neither me or my sister to comfort her.   It just isn’t fair.

Please think of us, and pray for us tomorrow.   It is going to be a stressful day.    

Summer Lovin’

August 3rd, 2007

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My boys…

When it Rains…

August 1st, 2007

… it pours.   I haven’t written about this before, but my Dad was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer.   He will be undergoing surgery on Monday to remove the cancer, and the prognosis is excellent for a full recovery.   Incidentally, Casey is also undergoing surgery on Monday,  to correct a minor heart condition.     My sister is going to come stay at my house for a day or two so that I can be with Casey.     I thought that all of this was just par for the proverbial course, considering the year we’ve been having, but I think today it’s finally hit me that these past five months have been really hard.

I started thinking that the statistical chances of all that has happened to us actually happening to a single family, and  it  has got to be slim, to say the least:     I’ve had two miscarriages, along with the D&Cs that went with them, and gall bladder removal surgery, including a bout with ripped abdominal stitches and not being able to lift Kenny for two weeks.   Casey has had numerous trips to the hospital and accompanying cardiologists, and now has his heart surgery scheduled for Monday.   Kenny spent four days in the hospital with a staph infection, and has been battling a wicked allergy to mosquito bites.   And Dudley has been hospitalized twice for various stomach issues.   And did I mention that due to the abnormally high salt content in the river we live on (that feeds into the Chesapeake Bay), we’ve been waking up to leagues of dead fish on our ramp and pier?   And that our entire property smells like a condemned sushi bar?   And that Casey had to free all the crabs in the traps because the water is so contaminated?   And that Dudley loves to roll in the carcasses, then ram through his dog door and jump on my bed???

I am not re-issuing my laundry list of woes to garner sympathy, or dally in sensationalism or egotistical martyrdom.   We are not melodramatic people!   I do, though, want to share some thoughts I am having on all this.   There has got to be a reason for all this.   There has got to be a real, relevant reason that we have gone through all that we have.  

I am in a small group Bible study that is going through the book of Daniel right now.   We persevere through the clatter and commotion of our collective gaggle of toddlers and babies, and it’s one of my favorite times of the week.   Anyway, we have recently been discussing the idea of being refined through the fire, and I am convinced that this is exactly what is happening to my little family.   I think that all of this has been allowed, by God, to touch us, because He has something in store for us in His big picture.   I believe that there is something, some experience or position or situation, down the road that He needs us to be ready for, and that He is refining our faith so that we will be able to succeed in whatever that might be.     I don’t know if it’s next month or next year, or many years down the road, but I do know that there is a reason that we are being allowed to go through all this, and we have to persevere and be strong.

In other news, I had my OB appointment today to go over the pathology report from my miscarriage on July 4th.   In the end, there is no report.   The samples they were able to obtain were too far deteriorated to determine anything, and there is nothing to be said.   I have to admit, I was expecting this, but I was not expecting the flood of emotion that hit me when I walked into the waiting room and saw three women with huge bellies there for their check-ups.   As I watched them joke with each other about due dates and swollen ankles, I thought I was going to literally choke on the tears in my throat.   My stomach twisted and it was all I could do to walk up when my name was called.   I was so jealous I wanted to scream.   Today I would be seven months with my second child, if he had made it.   Or  I would be twelve weeks today with the twins, if they hadn’t been lost so early.   I would be laughing and joking about having to pee and craving chili-dogs.   One thing I know for sure, I will never take being pregnant for granted again.

But I do not want to end on a teary note, as I am filled with joy even in all this stress and sorrow.   I have a wonderful, brilliant and handsome husband, and a hysterically funny and precious little boy.   We have a beautiful home (fishy-smelling and all), a wacky dog (who thankfully at least doesn’t bring the dead fish into the house), all that we need materially and then some, and lots of laughter and love to go around.   I still wouldn’t trade a moment of this life for any other.   I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this moment in time, and  I am so grateful for that.

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