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Calgon Moment

July 2nd, 2007

Kenny and I got a late start on our afternoon errands today; he napped for a little over two hours, though, so I didn’t mind too much!   But by the time we got to the grocery store, we hit the after-work-pre-Fourth of July party-purchasing rush – and in our neighborhood that means people pushing double carts of burgers, dogs and cases of baked beans, with a few dozen bags of cheetos shoved in.   We stood in line at the checkout for twenty minutes, then barely navigated the parking lot as I held Kenny and balanced loads of party-supplies teetering in the cart.

Kenny was in great spirits throughout.   We laughed and made up funny songs about the things we were putting in the cart, and the pinacle hit when I tossed a bottle of Casey’s aftershave in the cart.   Kenny said, “Daddy’s lotion!” and I said, “That’s right, Daddy’s lotion!” and he said, “Daddy put it on after shower!” and ” said, “Yes he does,” and Kenny said (at full volume in the uber-crowded store) “DADDY NAKED IN THE SHOWER!” I laughed so hard I doubled over and he crowed with comic-pleasure, “NAKED!   DADDY GETS NAKED!”   You can imagine the looks we got.

When we got home, we faced the constant dilema of how to get the groceries from the car in our garage 75 feet downhill to the house.   When Kenny was tiny, I would take him down in his carseat and leave him just inside the door and sprint.   Later, it was the bouncy seat.   Sometimes as he got older, I put him in his highchair, but he’s learning to climb out of that, so it’s no longer a safe option.   These days I generally leave him locked on the screened porch where I can see him (except for the moments I’m in the garage) and run the bags down to the door, then carry them in from the porch as he folloes me.   But today he wanted to “help” so sincerely, then tried to unlock the porch himself when I left him the first time, that I realized that the only way to be safe was to let him walk back and forth each time with me.   Now Kenny can run really fast when he wants to, but he was hungry and tired and in the sauntering mood.  

It took us forty-five minutes to get the groceries in the house, and that’s not counting the stuff for our party, which I left in the fridge in the garage.   Each trip he insisted that he carry something, so he shuttled bags of chips, paper plates and a few blocks of cheese into the house while I struggled with twenty-five pound bags at the pace of a one-year-old.   But he was intent, he was diligent and he worked really hard to carefully carry each item into the house with me in tow.   Dudley was also in tow for each back-and-forth, and that only added to the staggeringly slow pace of our venture.   Ah, but my sweet boy has a heart of gold and he was so proud of himself when we finished our task!

That’s when things got interesting.   I settled Kenny in with a little snack (trying not to spoil his dinner) and starting putting things away.   Because the day was gorgeous, I left the front door open and closed the screen door on the porch to get a breeze in the house.   Our next door neighbors came over to retrieve a grill that we just sold to them and Dudley ran out to say hello.   Except that he missed that the screen door was shut.   And ripped it right open.   Kenny, who was playing in the doorway let out a scream of hysterical laughter.   I had my head in the fridge putting lettuce in the drawer, and the scream sounded like one of intense terror and pain.  

What my heart did I have never before experienced, and I can only imagine that it must have been the sensation of my heart stopping for a minute, because the pain was fierce.   I dropped everything and ran the ten feet around the corner and saw Kenny giggling and pointing at the screen.   I felt my knees buckle and I crumpled to the floor to embrace him.   I can’t remember a time when I was so scared.   I actually thought, for a split second, that Dudley had crushed Kenny on his way out the door, or clawed him, or worse.   When Dudley came pracing back in I grabbed him by the scruff and threw him on his back and growled at him.   Kenny thought that was funny, too, but Dudley understood… somehow he knew that leaping over Kenny and through a screen door was not the right thing to do, though it was the putting Kenny in danger part that I cared about.   The screen is no big deal.

I am still a little shaky, an hour later, I must confess.   I think I need a bubble bath and a big glass of something with a really high proof…


  1. Kimberly says

    Have you ever thought about getting yourself a cart? You can stick Kenny in, pile it with goceries, and make only one or two trips… Kenny would love it!

    July 2nd, 2007 | #

  2. LeAnne says

    Oh no! I know that HAD to scare you! I’m glad Kenny was ok. There’s just something about having your child scream a certain way.

    That cart the other commenter mentioned sounds good. That’d save you and Kenny some time.

    Your comment about Kenny helping you take in groceries reminded me of what happened with us the other day. My husband and I and Joshua came back from Walmart with a bunch of groceries. We sat them on the kitchen floor and it was just so sweet when I looked at Joshua and he was trying to help. He was trying to get stuff out of the bags. Then we got him to hand things to us. Its just flat out adorable!

    July 3rd, 2007 | #

  3. LanceyPants says

    BLESS YOUR HEART! Weims can be such oafs. I hate you had that happened, but I’m relieved to hear I’m not the only weirdo who scruffs/growls at her 90 lb dog. Me Alpha Wolf.

    July 3rd, 2007 | #

  4. Milaka says

    Yikes! Talk about an adrenaline rush! I’m glad that the scream turned out to be one of delight! I hope you were able to suitably relax later on.

    July 3rd, 2007 | #

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