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Disappearing Act

May 21st, 2009

Ok, ok… it’s been nearly four weeks since I posted on my blog.   No only that, it’s been four weeks since I typed my own blog’s name into the web browser.   Of anyone else’s blog’s name for that matter.   I’ve barely checked email and only gotten on the computer here and there to read the headlines on CNN.

I’m sure all of you had at least one relationship in college that you disappeared on.   Mine was a semi-casual boyfriend that one day I just up and decided that, not only did I not want to go out with him any more, but that everything about him – even the way he breathed for goodness sakes – drove me insane and I couldn’t stand one more  minute in his presence.   There was nothing wrong with him, mind you.   I just couldn’t be in the same airspace as him or I felt the urge to poke him under the ribs.   Not rational.   Not fair.   He, fortunately, was a real stellar guy and played along, ignoring me in return, except for a wink here and there, as if to say, “Hey, girl, I know this game.   You’re gonna miss me someday.”

Well, I never really did miss him (though a semester later we laughed over it and became friends), but neither did I ever really have an explanation for my radical distain.   I guess you could say that’s kind of what happened to me and poor old MommyBlog this past month.

It all started when Casey and I began to talk about expanding this blog – I’ve written about that before – and I decided to do some due diligence and really see who out there had great mommy blogs, who was doing well and why they were so popular.   I spent a week reading, watching and checking it into the Who’s Who of the blogosphere.   And you know what?   I was buried.   Suddenly, I panicked.     Twitter?   Oh my goodness, what on earth?   Now all the really cool mommy bloggers were tweeting all over the place and I didn’t even know a tweet from a twit.   Forget Facebook.    I joined that a year ago and I think I’ve been on it four times.   That sent me into reliving the clammy palms of high school: everyone seeing how  many friends I had and how cool (or not) I was.   I can barely keep up with daily email chatter,   much less pings and pongs and real time updates.   Hell, I can barely keep my dishwasher unloaded.

Then there were the playlists, so that your readers could bop along to your own selected  while keeping up with your kids’ antics.   Blogrolls a hundred sites  long.     Rolling headline pictures, newsfeeds and buttons galore.     And the wackiest of all: half the mommy blogs I read didn’t even have anything to do with the author’s kids!   I suddenly felt like Laura Ingalls walking into a swinger’s bar.   Old fashioned, un-hip and so not with it.

Honestly, I had to take a break.   I needed to just hang with my kids, clean my house, and get this family ready for vacation (which I’m on now!).   Writer’s blog slayed me and just thinking about blogging was like fingernails on the chalkboard. But the salty air of the Outer Banks has cleared my head a little and with no housework and only time to laugh and play and eat pint-loads of ice cream, I think that I may be ready to hit the keypad again.

Why do I write? To  chronicle my kids’ lives.   To create something that Kenny and Cooper can look back on one day and read and say, “Hey – we really put Mom through the ringer!   Let’s send her on a first class trip to Paris next Mother’s Day…”   But really: to someday share a piece of their lives with them, and to share with them a glimpse into the woman I once was, back before they can remember.

When we lived in Arizona, Casey walked out one night onto the golf course we lived on to hit a few balls in the sunset while I put baby Kenny to bed.   He hit a hole in one, and looked around triumphantly.   Not a single soul saw it happen.   Dejected, he walked into the house and said, “Now I know what lonely is.”   And that sums up why we blog.   Our exploits and triumphs aren’t complete until we retell them to someone else.

And that is why I will continue to write.

11 Comments »

  1. Jennifer says

    I love your blog! And, it’s the only one I read:-) It’s hip enough for me, too many bells and whistles means more of a timesuck.
    I have a little guy named Cooper who is a little younger than Kenny, I like reading your blog because it feels like the same story I’m living most of the time.
    Blog on sistah!

    May 21st, 2009 | #

  2. Sarah says

    I am so glad you are back! I kept checking to see if you had posted and was hoping that all was well. Write for you and your boys, that is who it is all about!

    Enjoy the rest of your vacation. 🙂

    May 21st, 2009 | #

  3. Jessica says

    Glad to see your return! 😉

    May 21st, 2009 | #

  4. Christy says

    So glad to hear that last sentence! I missed you terribly!

    I don’t think your blog needs buttons and tweets to be good. Your blog is GREAT because it is “real”. You do a wonderful job of telling just how life is with two small kids. I love your writing about your faith, your triumphs, and your dirty dishes. It is so comforting to know someone else in the world has the same struggles that I do.

    Thank you for sharing with us. MommyBlog is AWESOME, just how it is.

    May 21st, 2009 | #

  5. Jen (aka P=Pie) says

    I am so glad you are writing again. I have been following your blog for about a year and look forward to reading about your family. I agree with Christy your blot is AWESOME just as it is!

    May 21st, 2009 | #

  6. Claudia says

    Twitter? Face book? What is all that? LOL, all I need is a wonderful and inviting blog like yours down to earth that I can relate to having to kids of my own. Keep writing please, all of us mommies need to hear from you! I agree completely with all the other mommies comments.

    May 22nd, 2009 | #

  7. Meghan says

    Welcome Back! We missed you!

    May 22nd, 2009 | #

  8. grammy says

    hey, I look forward to reading this even though we live 45 minutes away. It lifts my day, esp. the pics!!!! Welcome back and can’t wait to hug the boys!!

    May 22nd, 2009 | #

  9. a once great blogger said says

    give the people what they want, and that is your stories about your life and just whats going on in it, through your lens. it is fun to read, thank you!!!:grin:

    May 22nd, 2009 | #

  10. Sarah says

    Keep thinking and writing. There is more than just one niche out there and I completely agree with the previous posters that none of us need yet another technologically-centric time vacuum to swirl into! Keep up the great work!

    May 22nd, 2009 | #

  11. Jessica says

    Simple. Funny. Well-written and real. That is why I keep coming back. Blessings to your family – glad you had a good vacation 🙂

    May 23rd, 2009 | #

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