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Does This Kid Read Dr. Spock??

April 2nd, 2007

I’ve read that eighteen months of age is the most typical time for a child to begin the phase of seapartion-anxiety.   Well, Kenny was a few weeks late, but he’s definitely in the throes of it now.

Bedtime for Kenny  has finally become the drama that most moms talk about with their toddlers.   His favorite stall-tactic is to request another “Pray-er!”   This is a kid that knows his parent’s soft-spot.   Who is going to deny praying with their little one?   To give him credit, I think that he genuinely enjoys the goodnight prayer that we say, and he loves to sit and listen to us pray for him and for each other.   But he’s starting to use the “pray-er” card interchangably with “Juice!   Mo’ juice pa-leese!” and “Mama chair, song, pa-leese?” which makes me wonder if he is just playing us.   When we were in Las Vegas, I stayed with him until he fell asleep… in a strange hotel room, what more could I do?   But since we’ve been home, he has refused to go to sleep by himself.  

We used to be able to do the bedtime routine, put him in his crib with a kiss, and walk out of the room.   In fact, one of my favorite things was to then secretly listen to him on the monitor, as he talked to all of his stuffed animals, sang songs and make sweet little sounds.   Now it’s “Mama hold you!” and “Nudder song” and “Mama big bed!” (which means he wants me to lay in the bed next to his crib  until he falls asleep).   Try to put him down and walk out and you’re met with a sound that closely resembles a hyena being dis-membered.   And then he’s so worked up, sleep is nearly impossible.   We have tried to let him cry it out some, but it’s so depressing to listen to.   When he was a little younger, we did let him cry until he fell asleep, but now that he’s more vocal, it seems so cruel.  

Any thoughts out there?   It’s becoming an hour-long ordeal for us, and definitely taking away from our “alone time” in the evening.   Any advice is appreciated!

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7 Comments »

  1. Kimmie says

    Two things I can think of. One, when child #1 started to pull the stunts, we made a HUGE ordeal about a big girl bed and let her “help” put it together. She felt good having a new found freedom and did great (until she started having night terrors, but that is a different story!!! :lol::roll:). Second, with child #2 started it, we had just moved into the new house… I gave in for a few weeks (yes, weeks, ugh!) and sat at the foot of her bed… then finally I’d had enough b/c she’d wake up in the middle of the night and scream b/c I was gone and I’d have to sit there again. I told her “no more! Mommy has her own bed in her own room and you have your own bed in your own room. This is your room, your bed… you go to sleep alone!” and that was that. No kidding… 😯
    Hang in there… just another of many phases (this too shall pass! 😉 )

    April 2nd, 2007 | #

  2. Jennifer says

    We have been extremely blessed our two boys have gone to bed very easily since they were about 2 months old. Our oldest was sleeping through the night at 4 weeks. When they were moved into their new big boy bunk beds about a year ago we started letting them have quiet playtime before bed. They thought they were getting to stay up later (thankfully they can’t tell time) we were actually putting them to bed 45 minutes earlier. They have a couple rules, no juming around, no getting out of bed and they get to play and look at books in their “cave” for 30 minutes. lol they are usually asleep when we go in to turn off the lights.

    April 2nd, 2007 | #

  3. Jennifer says

    Our son Tyler actually asks to go to bed now at night. He has been really easy. But the big boy bed may be a good idea. Tyler switched at 18 months and he has done great. Wish you the best!

    April 2nd, 2007 | #

  4. Tawni says

    Gosh, I really have no idea. Im kind of going through a little of the same thing with my 6 month old. She has major separation anxiety now. I have to sit there and rub her eyes and hold her hand in order for her to go to sleep sometimes. I dont mind it. Its the least I can do. I remember when I was young and I refused to sleep by myself until I was like 7 years old. I was so afraid. The fears are true and strong. They are so real for a child. I think when Sofia is over a year, I wont mind sitting there until they fall asleep. I wont mind if they need to sleep with us if they wake up in the middle of the night with bad dreams etc. I know sometimes it really does cut into your alone time though! Its frustrating, but it will pass. Good luck! Oh, you know what really helped me when I was young? My mom would come in and pray over me and for God to protect me while I was sleeping and for nothing bad to happen and that his angels would stay the night with me and hold my hand. I loved it. It made me feel SO safe and loved. It really worked!

    April 3rd, 2007 | #

  5. justamom says

    I say let him cry it out. I was attachment parenting queen with my first until about 10 months old. I couldn’t take it anymore, neither could my husband. We did the cry it out method and have now used it with child #2 (much earlier this time). While I know fears are real (in their head) if you are always the one who calms them, they will never learn to calm themselves. It is tough, very very tough to hear them screaming but if you can resist the erge to go in, it will be for the better, for everyone! Like the ferber method says, they won’t grow up to be psychologically messed up because you let them cry it out at age 2. What would you do if you had a second pulling the same thing at the same time? Easier to let him cry now than when he is 3. Try going outside on the patio or deck and having something to drink, send hubby in every 10 mins or so to console him (don’t pick him up) he’ll go to sleep eventually, and probably after 3-6 nights it will be solved!

    April 3rd, 2007 | #

  6. Mom Knight says

    Big Bed time and maybe a few weeks in the same house. I think all the trips may have slightly confused him and he is smart enough to use it!! what a kid!! Love and miss you all!! Mommie

    April 3rd, 2007 | #

  7. Alicia says

    Kenny, you’re looking so grown up!

    April 4th, 2007 | #

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