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Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down

July 13th, 2009

Cooper hates to get his diaper changed.   Really, though, I don’t know many one-year-olds who do like to lie calmly strapped to a changing table while a Large Adult cuffs their ankles and lifts with one hand  and efficiently swipes the arse with cold clammy wipes with the other.  

I need to get Casey to take a video of me trying to change a Cooper poop, though.   Because it would get so many hits on Youtube, I might find my fifteen minutes of fame after all.   The kid poops five times a day, I kid you not.   I could feed him nothing but dry crackers and bananas for days at a time and he  would still manage  to squeeze out five  big ones  a day.     But I do understand that what goes in must come out, and often not looking much different from how it went in in the first place.   Can I help it that he begs for  food every time we pass the kitchen??   “Daw-bee!” he yells, as I open the fridge door and he spies the little case of strawberries; “BAW!” he demands, pointing at the bowl with nectarines, peaches and plums inside.   And hello, corn and raisins??   Do those things ever even digest?

But back to the changing table drama.   I lie him down, he rolls over.   I strap him in, he slides out and does a bomb dive towards the floor.   I start to take off the diaper, he bucks his body, lands his feet right in the slime, then kicks me in the face, all the while howling like it’s him that’s suffering.   It takes me five minutes of wrestling just to get him clean – forget actually getting another diaper on.   I have resorted to literally crawling behind him on the floor, stretching the velcro tabs around his belly while trying to hold the front in place with the other hand.   Kenny has resorted to running and hiding under the bed in my room because, “I don’t like it when you make Cooper cry!”

Cry?  It’s usually me that ends up crying by the end of it.   Poop.


  1. Crisanne says

    Don’t know if this would help, since he seems like a particularly difficult case, but here’s something to try. Lay him on the floor and sit next to him so that you can put one leg over his chest to hold him down. If that doesn’t work, well….This too shall pass!

    July 13th, 2009 | #

  2. Kimmie says

    you just need to give him something REALLY interesting to play with… or maybe a lollipop! lol

    Crisanne… that definitely won’t work with the Coop… he is FAST!

    July 14th, 2009 | #

  3. Rose Aylmer says

    I changed my boys as they stood on top of the changing table, holding onto a towel bar, looking at the wall where I kept pasting up things of interest. Might be worth a try– if you catch a full diaper before they sit down it’s less messy. Good luck!

    July 14th, 2009 | #

  4. Jenny says

    Glad to see I’m not the only one who feels like crying after trying to change a one year old… I don’t see how trying to get the pee and poop off of their body is so awful. Would they truly rather sit in it? I hope this too shall pass…

    July 14th, 2009 | #

  5. Margaret says

    Try changing him on the floor with your legs over his arms. I do foster care and I find this works almost everytime.
    In February we took 5 kids to Disneyworld, 3 were in diapers. I would take the three into the bathroom to change them. I would have two face each other and hold both hands while I changed the other. I realized people were lining up behind me as I changed diapers, finally I asked someone behind me if they needed something and she said I was the fastest diaper changer she could imagine and was watching for ideas. Not the easiest vacation, but we have wonderful memories and so do the kids.

    July 17th, 2009 | #

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