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Shopping With the Ringmaster

November 15th, 2006

Today Kenny and I went shopping for a bathtub.   And a toilet, a shower and all of the accompanying faucets and drains.

We found ourselves in a high-end showroom, surrounded with luxuriously deep whirlpool tubs and multi-jetted spa showers.   As Kenny had been in the car for a toddler eternity (45 minutes), and due to the fact we were the only customers there, I set him down and let him run around while we waited for a salesman.   He so wanted to climb into the bathtubs!   He ran over to each one, looked up at me with a wild and euphorically hopeful grin and started cawing, “BA! BA!”   (You have to understand that baths are one of his favorite activities of the day.)   It was very hard to explain why we couldn’t jump on in.   Thank goodness he doesn’t know how to take his clothes off yet.

Our eager young salesman came over to greet me, then seeing Kenny, by now playing peek-a-boo from behind a state-of-the-art Kohler toilet that looked like an ottoman (and a three thousand dollar price tag), turned a little pale.   I got to the point, “I have to buy a bathtub, a shower, a sink, a toilet and everything that goes with it, and my dog is in the car, my little boy is hungry.   Let’s get busy!”   He was just starting to say, “Yes, M’am” when a loud and emphatic grunt broke through the quiet of the showroom.   Yes, Kenny was squatting, next to the state-of-the-art toilet and filling his Huggies to capacity.   I decided to ignore the obvious, and kept talking to the salesman, who was by now becoming woefully aware of the smell coming from this adorable little kid.   “Um, do you need to change him?” he asked.   “Do you have a changing table in here?”  I countered.   “Um.   No.”  he said, looking confused.   “Then he’s fine,” said I, and walked over to the ottoman-styled toilet and scooped up Kenny.   “Let’s get to work.”

An hour later, everything was selected and Kenny had learned how to work all of the (thankfully disconnected) bathtub faucets.   I shook our salesman’s hand, and departed to the parking lot where I actually changed Kenny in the front seat of the 4-Runner, with Dudley whining from the back, no doubt having to do some business of his own.     Once Kenny was somewhat cleaned up (I also discovered at this point that I had no wipes with us, and had to use some napkins I found in the glovebox instead) I buckled him in and took Dudley out on a leash to sniff through the pitifully tiny patch of grass in the showroom parking lot.    He looked up at me  as if  to say, “You want  me to pee here?” and hopped back into the car.

A successful trip, all in all.

1 Comment

  1. LanceyPants says

    A good patch of grass and some wet wipes….priceless treasures!!

    November 16th, 2006 | #

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